Math Jokes
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!
An infinite crowd of mathematicians enters a bar.
The first one orders a pint, the second one a half pint, the third one a quarter pint…
“I understand”, says the bartender – and pours two pints.
A man from an insane asylum runs around pointing everyone yelling, “I differentiate you!” Most people went off screaming after he said this. But one day he came across one person. “I differentiate you!” he said. The person was unmoved. “I differentiate you!” he said again. After saying “I differentiate you!” quite a few times, he said, “who are you?” The person replied, “I’m ex.”
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!
Trigonometry for farmers: swine and coswine…
Two math students, a boy and his girlfriend, are going to a fair. They are in line to ride the ferris wheel when it shuts down.
The boy says: “It’s a sin for those people to keep us waiting like this!”
The girl replies: “No – it’s a cosin, silly!!!”
Life is complex: it has both real and imaginary components.
Mathematicians never die – they only lose some of their functions.
“What is Pi?”
A mathematician: “Pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter.”
A computer programmer: “Pi is 3.141592653589 in double precision.”
A physicist: “Pi is 3.14159 plus or minus 0.000005.”
An engineer: “Pi is about 22/7.”
A nutritionist: “Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!”
One day, Jesus said to his disciples: “The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9.”
A man who had just joined the disciples looked very confused and asked Peter: “What, on Earth, does he mean by that?”
Peter replied: “Don’t worry – it’s just another one of his parabolas.”
George W. Bush visits Algeria. As part of his program, he delivers a speech to the Algerian people: “You know, I regret that I have to give this speech in English. I would very much prefer to talk to you in your own language. But unfortunately, I was never good at algebra…”
Vedic Math for Kids 